Thursday, April 14, 2011

THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART SIX)

A good husband is every woman's desire, but not every man is a good husband. To be a good husband you have to engage your self in the process of the making of a good husband. In part six of the series on the making of a good husband you shall be introduced to more information on how to be a good husband.

17. Be a good Listener: When your wife opens up to you, listen to her while giving her your full attention. You cannot be a great husband if you do not listen and know what your wife wants you to hear. I know some times some women can be so rude in passing out their suggestion to their husband, but however she puts the suggestion, never ignore the common sense of extracting sense out of what she has to say. Even, if she is rude in her language, hold yourself and be a good listener.

18. Compromise: Compromise with your wife. Relationships should never be a one-way street. If both of you have a differing opinion on a subject, try to find a middle ground that will appease both of you instead of insisting on your own way.

19. Treat yourself and your wife to a date on a regular basis: Even if you are stressed out with work and children, put time aside specifically for you and your wife.

20. Word hard and work Smart: Laziness will make you a bad husband; and one incapable of providing for the need of the family. Women are attracted to men who are able providers, protectors, and nurturers. They want a man who can and will be an able partner in life. It is fulfilling for a man to work hard and succeed at whatever he does. If the job requires more time than originally estimated, if it is more strenuous than originally thought, a good husband will gird up his loins and redouble his efforts. It is no good point working long and difficult hours when you do not have anything to show for your labor and effort.. Think about what you are doing, does it actually worth it? Is there a better way to get it done? Can it be more efficient? Good husbands use their intellect as well as their strength.

Never expect your wife to always contribute to the smooth operation of the household. Even in this day and age of women in the workplace, most prefer to have that as an option rather than a necessary part of their lives. Motherhood and caring for a husband and home usually takes priority for her. Never assume that the money you earn is yours to do with as you like. You have a family to think about now and their needs must always come before your own.

21. Be A Leader: Effective leadership makes a man respected and loved. It also makes the woman proud of her decision to marry you. A good husband is a good leader who firmly holds on to noble moral virtues and concoction. This is not an attitude of being obstinate and obtuse, but standing up for what is right and convincing others to do the same. If more men would take the time to help those who need a little direction, the world would be a better place.

22. Endow her with all your worldly goods: If you want to be a good husband, then you had to take the attitude that all your worldly goods belong to her just as much as they do to you. A good husband does not loan money to his deadbeat pals and family members secretly. Everything he does is with the consent of his wife. A good husband does not blow money gambling when his wife disapproves. A good husband does not let his wife do without good clothes or anything else she needs when he can actually afford it. She should be able to dress as nicely as you do, eat as well as you do, and enjoy all the other physical comforts you enjoy. Whatever you have belong to her as well. Do not treat her as only a caretaker, but treat her as an owner.

23. Care about Her Well Being: Your wife has feelings which should be understood and respected. You may not cherish having a wife who is chronically ill, but realize that you will have to deal with illness, injury, and emotional distress. There will be a time when life will give a dose of some bitter pills, at such moment she will need your presence, assistance and comfort. Do not abandon her because you are trying to avoid being confronted with the reality of her problems. You should care about how your wife is feeling. She is delicate and sensitive. She needs to be cared for and it is your responsibility to do so.

In addition to general health concerns, women feel better when they are allowed to be beautiful. Therefore, as a good husband pamper your wife. This does not mean you should spoil her, but what I am saying here is that you need as a matter of fact to take care of her well being because she is married to you, and nobody should be allowed to perform the obligation of taking care of your wife. 

People usually get married hoping to get their needs met. In other words, most marriages start out with a selfish desire for one’s own well-being. But somewhere along the way, things need to undergo a radical shift. You need to start caring as much about your wife’s welfare as you do about your own. You must be thoughtful of her health, even when this conflicts with your own personal desires. Good husbands put aside their own needs for their wife’s safety. Though some wives tend to take this for granted, but a wife of noble character will forever cherish a man who takes pride in sacrificing his comfort for the well being of his wife.

Ideally, you should begin to think as much about her happiness as you do about your own. Ask your wife how she is doing every day. Doing so makes her know that you care, and lets her be able to make you aware of any issues before they escalate to bigger problems.

Well, this is where I am going to stop for today. Watch out for part Seven. If this article has been of great help to you, please kindly post a comment below to share your views with our visitors.

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Monday, April 4, 2011

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THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART FIVE)


14. Be Willing to Get Outside Help: There are times when you need out side resource to keep your marriage going in the right direction. However, while making your search, be careful to see that you seek with a high level of intelligence, and also from qualified quarters. There is the common joke about men refusing to ask for directions. Men throughout history have needed to be self-sufficient. That is one of the characteristics which make men successful. When we were out in the wilderness hunting for food, we could not stop at the convenience store to ask where the herd was.

Self-reliance is good and can only take us so far as the depth of our knowledge permit, but you must understand that no man can actually succeed in marriage without seeking expert guidance where necessary. A smart man has to realize when he cannot do it all himself. When your marriage is in trouble, you definitely need expert advice. It is normal for a man to refuse to go to a marriage counselor over little matters, but it is abnormal for a man to refuse a visit to a marriage and relationship consultant when the success of his relationship is in shamble. It is foolish for a man to prefer to buy a map than ask for directions. In the same way, some men display stupidity by reading how-to guides on how to save their marriage than ask for professional help. How-to guides have their unique input in maintaining a healthy relationship, but it cannot in most cases substitute for a physical visit to a professional marriage consultant. In a lot of cases, getting good advice is enough. Modifying our attitudes and the subsequent behaviors those attitudes cause can have profound effects on a failing marriage. But sometimes the problems run deeper. In such situation, the man should co-operate with his wife and see a professional to talk things over and abide by the guidance received.

Do not die in silence; speak out and save your marriage. Professional marriage counselors help to reinforce the points I have made above. They are instructors in how to listen, how to show respect, how to avoid judgment, how to be a part of the team, how to express our feelings and how to be more affectionate. In short, when a man finds that his best efforts to improve his marriage skills fail, he needs a trained instructor to work on those skills with immediate effect.

15. Own up when you have messed up: It takes largeness of heart and spirit to admit when you are wrong, and also to apologize and mean it. It is also just about the only thing that helps to heal the hurt you may have unwittingly caused. If you can empathize with what your partner's feeling because of something you have said, done or have left undone, and can express your sorrow for it, you will be forgiven. And this will go a long way to make you a good husband. Good husbands show a sign of remorse and sincerely apologize when they are wrong. They go the extra mile to remedy the effect of their maltreatment. Apologizing to your wife when you are wrong does not mean you are a fool or a weakling, but it goes a long way to demonstrate that you love her and also care for her feelings. It shows that you consider her a part of you rather than making her a slave.

16. Forsaking All Others: This is very simple, but not to most men who like to eye-follow everything on skirt. These are men who are suffering from a disease called arrested development. Every man must realize that they took an oath on their wedding day to ‘forsake all others, and keep solely to their wife’. You promised to have a single wife for the rest of your life. So if you have a mistress or a girlfriend, then you are not keeping your promise. And this inevitably means you are not a good husband. I know most men will be angry with me on this note, but please realize that I am telling you the truth. It very surprising what has become of men these days. Even pastors are leaving their wives to run after other women outside. This is not good. If your wife begins to run after other men, how will you feel? Do not be misled by the concept which permit men to fantasize outside their matrimonial home. This is a sure way to marital frustration and destructive consequence as a result of a broken covenant of marriage. Be satisfied with the wife of your youth. Draw water only from your cistern and let the breast of your wife satisfy you. A good husband will not share his matrimonial love with another woman. A good husband remains faithful to his wife as long as they both live.

If you want to be a good husband, then get rid of the girlfriend(s). Do not put yourself in situations where you will be tempted to break your vows. Put the effort you would put into covering up an illicit relationship into improving your relationship with your wife instead. It will pay untold dividends. If you are a newly married husband or one celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, you still can learn how to be a better husband. Relationships are a never-ending process that take persistent work on a daily basis to stay at their optimal level. Even the best husband in the world can work on some things, and improve in many ways. Faithfulness and loyalty is one of the prime qualities a woman wants in her man. And every good husband will not stave his wife of this desirable cravings.
Endeavor as a man to have a sense of honor and duty. The honorable thing is to fulfill the duty to your wife that you took upon yourself the day you got married. It is the duty of a man to be faithful to his wife. Put in all your efforts to stay connected and committed to your wife in all things. Even if she is not as pretty as other girls or women out there, you owe her an everlasting duty of remaining faithful at all cost.This is an honorable duty of a good husband.