Thursday, April 14, 2011

THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART SIX)

A good husband is every woman's desire, but not every man is a good husband. To be a good husband you have to engage your self in the process of the making of a good husband. In part six of the series on the making of a good husband you shall be introduced to more information on how to be a good husband.

17. Be a good Listener: When your wife opens up to you, listen to her while giving her your full attention. You cannot be a great husband if you do not listen and know what your wife wants you to hear. I know some times some women can be so rude in passing out their suggestion to their husband, but however she puts the suggestion, never ignore the common sense of extracting sense out of what she has to say. Even, if she is rude in her language, hold yourself and be a good listener.

18. Compromise: Compromise with your wife. Relationships should never be a one-way street. If both of you have a differing opinion on a subject, try to find a middle ground that will appease both of you instead of insisting on your own way.

19. Treat yourself and your wife to a date on a regular basis: Even if you are stressed out with work and children, put time aside specifically for you and your wife.

20. Word hard and work Smart: Laziness will make you a bad husband; and one incapable of providing for the need of the family. Women are attracted to men who are able providers, protectors, and nurturers. They want a man who can and will be an able partner in life. It is fulfilling for a man to work hard and succeed at whatever he does. If the job requires more time than originally estimated, if it is more strenuous than originally thought, a good husband will gird up his loins and redouble his efforts. It is no good point working long and difficult hours when you do not have anything to show for your labor and effort.. Think about what you are doing, does it actually worth it? Is there a better way to get it done? Can it be more efficient? Good husbands use their intellect as well as their strength.

Never expect your wife to always contribute to the smooth operation of the household. Even in this day and age of women in the workplace, most prefer to have that as an option rather than a necessary part of their lives. Motherhood and caring for a husband and home usually takes priority for her. Never assume that the money you earn is yours to do with as you like. You have a family to think about now and their needs must always come before your own.

21. Be A Leader: Effective leadership makes a man respected and loved. It also makes the woman proud of her decision to marry you. A good husband is a good leader who firmly holds on to noble moral virtues and concoction. This is not an attitude of being obstinate and obtuse, but standing up for what is right and convincing others to do the same. If more men would take the time to help those who need a little direction, the world would be a better place.

22. Endow her with all your worldly goods: If you want to be a good husband, then you had to take the attitude that all your worldly goods belong to her just as much as they do to you. A good husband does not loan money to his deadbeat pals and family members secretly. Everything he does is with the consent of his wife. A good husband does not blow money gambling when his wife disapproves. A good husband does not let his wife do without good clothes or anything else she needs when he can actually afford it. She should be able to dress as nicely as you do, eat as well as you do, and enjoy all the other physical comforts you enjoy. Whatever you have belong to her as well. Do not treat her as only a caretaker, but treat her as an owner.

23. Care about Her Well Being: Your wife has feelings which should be understood and respected. You may not cherish having a wife who is chronically ill, but realize that you will have to deal with illness, injury, and emotional distress. There will be a time when life will give a dose of some bitter pills, at such moment she will need your presence, assistance and comfort. Do not abandon her because you are trying to avoid being confronted with the reality of her problems. You should care about how your wife is feeling. She is delicate and sensitive. She needs to be cared for and it is your responsibility to do so.

In addition to general health concerns, women feel better when they are allowed to be beautiful. Therefore, as a good husband pamper your wife. This does not mean you should spoil her, but what I am saying here is that you need as a matter of fact to take care of her well being because she is married to you, and nobody should be allowed to perform the obligation of taking care of your wife. 

People usually get married hoping to get their needs met. In other words, most marriages start out with a selfish desire for one’s own well-being. But somewhere along the way, things need to undergo a radical shift. You need to start caring as much about your wife’s welfare as you do about your own. You must be thoughtful of her health, even when this conflicts with your own personal desires. Good husbands put aside their own needs for their wife’s safety. Though some wives tend to take this for granted, but a wife of noble character will forever cherish a man who takes pride in sacrificing his comfort for the well being of his wife.

Ideally, you should begin to think as much about her happiness as you do about your own. Ask your wife how she is doing every day. Doing so makes her know that you care, and lets her be able to make you aware of any issues before they escalate to bigger problems.

Well, this is where I am going to stop for today. Watch out for part Seven. If this article has been of great help to you, please kindly post a comment below to share your views with our visitors.

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Monday, April 4, 2011

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THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART FIVE)


14. Be Willing to Get Outside Help: There are times when you need out side resource to keep your marriage going in the right direction. However, while making your search, be careful to see that you seek with a high level of intelligence, and also from qualified quarters. There is the common joke about men refusing to ask for directions. Men throughout history have needed to be self-sufficient. That is one of the characteristics which make men successful. When we were out in the wilderness hunting for food, we could not stop at the convenience store to ask where the herd was.

Self-reliance is good and can only take us so far as the depth of our knowledge permit, but you must understand that no man can actually succeed in marriage without seeking expert guidance where necessary. A smart man has to realize when he cannot do it all himself. When your marriage is in trouble, you definitely need expert advice. It is normal for a man to refuse to go to a marriage counselor over little matters, but it is abnormal for a man to refuse a visit to a marriage and relationship consultant when the success of his relationship is in shamble. It is foolish for a man to prefer to buy a map than ask for directions. In the same way, some men display stupidity by reading how-to guides on how to save their marriage than ask for professional help. How-to guides have their unique input in maintaining a healthy relationship, but it cannot in most cases substitute for a physical visit to a professional marriage consultant. In a lot of cases, getting good advice is enough. Modifying our attitudes and the subsequent behaviors those attitudes cause can have profound effects on a failing marriage. But sometimes the problems run deeper. In such situation, the man should co-operate with his wife and see a professional to talk things over and abide by the guidance received.

Do not die in silence; speak out and save your marriage. Professional marriage counselors help to reinforce the points I have made above. They are instructors in how to listen, how to show respect, how to avoid judgment, how to be a part of the team, how to express our feelings and how to be more affectionate. In short, when a man finds that his best efforts to improve his marriage skills fail, he needs a trained instructor to work on those skills with immediate effect.

15. Own up when you have messed up: It takes largeness of heart and spirit to admit when you are wrong, and also to apologize and mean it. It is also just about the only thing that helps to heal the hurt you may have unwittingly caused. If you can empathize with what your partner's feeling because of something you have said, done or have left undone, and can express your sorrow for it, you will be forgiven. And this will go a long way to make you a good husband. Good husbands show a sign of remorse and sincerely apologize when they are wrong. They go the extra mile to remedy the effect of their maltreatment. Apologizing to your wife when you are wrong does not mean you are a fool or a weakling, but it goes a long way to demonstrate that you love her and also care for her feelings. It shows that you consider her a part of you rather than making her a slave.

16. Forsaking All Others: This is very simple, but not to most men who like to eye-follow everything on skirt. These are men who are suffering from a disease called arrested development. Every man must realize that they took an oath on their wedding day to ‘forsake all others, and keep solely to their wife’. You promised to have a single wife for the rest of your life. So if you have a mistress or a girlfriend, then you are not keeping your promise. And this inevitably means you are not a good husband. I know most men will be angry with me on this note, but please realize that I am telling you the truth. It very surprising what has become of men these days. Even pastors are leaving their wives to run after other women outside. This is not good. If your wife begins to run after other men, how will you feel? Do not be misled by the concept which permit men to fantasize outside their matrimonial home. This is a sure way to marital frustration and destructive consequence as a result of a broken covenant of marriage. Be satisfied with the wife of your youth. Draw water only from your cistern and let the breast of your wife satisfy you. A good husband will not share his matrimonial love with another woman. A good husband remains faithful to his wife as long as they both live.

If you want to be a good husband, then get rid of the girlfriend(s). Do not put yourself in situations where you will be tempted to break your vows. Put the effort you would put into covering up an illicit relationship into improving your relationship with your wife instead. It will pay untold dividends. If you are a newly married husband or one celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, you still can learn how to be a better husband. Relationships are a never-ending process that take persistent work on a daily basis to stay at their optimal level. Even the best husband in the world can work on some things, and improve in many ways. Faithfulness and loyalty is one of the prime qualities a woman wants in her man. And every good husband will not stave his wife of this desirable cravings.
Endeavor as a man to have a sense of honor and duty. The honorable thing is to fulfill the duty to your wife that you took upon yourself the day you got married. It is the duty of a man to be faithful to his wife. Put in all your efforts to stay connected and committed to your wife in all things. Even if she is not as pretty as other girls or women out there, you owe her an everlasting duty of remaining faithful at all cost.This is an honorable duty of a good husband.

THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART FOUR)


8. Comfort Her: A good husband always comfort his wife. Marriage counselors do not talk about it much, but comforting your wife is one of your primary roles as a good husband. It is right there in the vows you made before God and many witnesses on the day of your wedding. You are not only there to comfort your wife when she is in pain, you are also there to comfort her when the kids have worn her patience to a nub. You are also there to comfort her when she has a headache. You are also there to comfort her when she does not feel pretty. Yes, when she is no longer the charming pretty girl you use to die for. Do not be a problem solver where and when you are expected to just be a comforter. Men tend to want to solve problems and offer solutions to others with problems. But often, what women need is comfort, not solutions.Good husbands have happier marriages, and enjoy a richer, deeper, better life and relationships.

9. Be your wife’s champion: Your wife needs to feel your strength and security. She needs to know that you are there now and forever for her. To make your wife happy, do not let her be in charge all of the time and also do not also weaken your message of powerful unconditional love based on her moods or behavior. A good husband will stand by his wife no matter what, and also stand for himself when the need be. All these put together goes a long way to the wife confidence and security.

10. Tell your wife that she is beautiful. A good husband always remind his wife of his beauty, and also make her to realize that he only have eyes for her. You dilute the strength of your marriage when you look at other women. How will your wife feel safe and be comfortable in the marriage if she feels threatened? To be a good husband, devote yourself to her completely. Never treat anyone like you would have treated her. If you find your self attracted to another woman, run for your dear life. Become more careful and never give audience to your object of attraction.

11. Listen to your wife’s feelings: Listen to the feelings of your wife. Do not push her away each time she beckons for a listening ear. You might not understand or agree with her in everything, and that is fine. Just listen. Most husbands argue or get frustrated when their wives share feelings, and this does not make marriages happy. A good husband conveys unconditional support to his wife and makes her feel safe to share all parts of herself. Your wife will feel much secured and well loved if she can freely express herself without the fear of penalization.

12. Spend time with your wife. To be a good husband, you must use your words and actions to demonstrate that your wife is your greatest priority. She needs to know she is special to you and preferred above all other women. You can still enjoy your sports, television, and hunting or fishing, but if your wife does not know she comes first in your life; she may resent other pursuits of your life. Learn the best ways to say “I love you.” Lavish her with praise. Romance her, pamper her, kiss her passionately. Let her feel secured in the comfort of your embrace. Send her constant short text message of how much you value and adore her.

13. Show love and affection: Being affectionate after sex takes time and it does not make most men feel manly. In fact guys do not like being cuddly, but women need affection all the time. So do not starve your wife of that affection that she craves for and also deserve to have. Do not give her affection only when you need her to satisfy your sexual urge. That is a crafty way of taking undue advantage of her. If you only give her that stuff to get to bed, your wife is going to notice and think it is insincere. If you show your wife spontaneous affection all the time, it reassures her of the love bond that exist between you.

Women need to feel loved and cared about. Give her a little pat when you walk by, compliment her when she is doing some task, and give her a kiss before you walk out of the door. There are good books out there in the market that can help you communicate with your wife in a romantic way. Place order for them and read them. Following the instructions contained in them, and this will make you to enjoy a successful marriage life. You will be able to find out what each of you need in a relationship to communicate love and affection.

While men seem to think women just want hot sex, it is actually tenderness and affection they crave even more. Men are often so focused on their own performance that they lose sight of their wife’s need for cuddling and closeness. If you can just give them that cuddling and affection, they will give all their best and you will be maritally fulfilled. While an aerobic romp between the sheets can be great, if it is followed by indifference or coldness, any benefits to the system or the partnership are cancelled out in a major way. Sex without vulnerability and closeness is just friction if you truly do not feel affectionate toward your partner. This is a marriage-killing issue you need to look at, and get some professional help.

Show your love and affection to her as often as possible. Every woman is a sucker of affection. Again, i repeat, if you only give them that stuff to get to bed, your wife is going to notice and think it is insincere. A good husband will appreciate his wife and will notice her, even after twenty or fifty years of marriage. She needs you to notice when she gets that new haircut or dresses up in something sexy for you to come home to. If you fail to notice what she is doing for you too many times, she may just count it as fruitless and quit. Give your Partner something fancy when she least expects it. Surprise her by planning a trip, preparing a nice dinner, giving a bunch of her favorite flowers or taking her out for shopping. Every woman likes to be pampered. Women, one way or the other, are nothing but over grown babies who constantly need care. But every woman has their likings, give things that she likes instead of forcing your likes on her and show her that you care, and would be always there for her. Never forget the special days in her life. Make an effort to initiate spontaneous affection with your wife. Build the companionship by doing things together whether it is a common interest or hobby. Give her a hug or surprise kiss and tell her how much you love her. Hold hands with her when you are out together. These small gestures show your wife that you have thought of her and this will help you reinforce your commitment to her.

Put in your best effort to be a good husband to your wife!

THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART THREE)

A good husband is every woman's dream, but learning how to become a good husband is every man's work. Below are more points on how to be a good husband:

5. Avoid Judgment: This is the Heartbeat. To be a good husband you must avoid being judgmental. Where there is judgment, there is fear. And wherever there is fear creativity is paralyzed. Understand that you are both humans from different family background with different experiences and exposure, but capable of self-acceptance. When you live with someone every day, it is hard not to build up resentments and over analyze every move of your partner. As a good husband you must realize no one is going to stand up to that level of scrutiny. Try not to sweat over the little stuff, because it has a way of becoming big rather quickly. If you judge every action or opinion of your wife, you will definitely demonstrate it with your words and actions.This will also go a long way to destroy peace and harmony in the home. And where peace and harmony is absent the love in family is frustrated. Family love exist where peace and harmony prevails.

Try to remain civil, and work toward a mutual understanding. Fighting for the sake of fighting does not make sense for either party. If you can keep your cool, more than likely she will keep hers.A good husband goes the extra mile to remove everything that will present argument and resentment in the family. I know it requires a lot of work, but it a work that is worth doing in order to maintain family love, and also demonstrate to your wife that you are a good husband.

Your wife is different from you. Of course she is not going to perceive things the way you do. She has had different life experiences than you, not the least of which is the general experience of living life as a woman. She will not always like what you like. She will not also behave like a man does. Apart from sexual needs and having children, that is one of the reasons men get into a relationship. We feel the need for a woman’s companionship.

Many of us have emotional baggage. But as a good husband, do not bring that emotional baggage into the marriage. Many men praise their previous wives, girlfriends or mother in front of their wives.This is a very bad attitude. No good wife will appreciate being compared to another woman. Try to avoid judging every action or opinion your wife has; understands that she is different from you. Her experiences and likings may be different from you too. Comparing her or making her feel that she does not measure up only would kill her self esteem and inevitably ruin your marriage.

6. Do not bring Your Own Issues into the Marriage: If you want to be a good husband you must not bring your personal issues into your marriage relationship. Being in a marriage is being part of a team. This means you sometimes have to put your wants or needs second to those of the team. Collective needs must be rated higher than individual needs. All of us have emotional baggage, the mistake most of us do as men it to carry that emotional baggage into our marriage. When your wife comes to you for support that is not the time to open up that emotional baggage. There are times when you can unload this stuff on your wife, but not when she needs your support.Giving her emotional trash in the place of emotional comfort is the greatest disregard you can ever give your wife.

It is common for a man to internalize all her problems and make them his own. But if you do this, you are losing sight of why she confided in you in the first place. Do not be selfish when you are supposed to be supportive and accommodating.

7. Know When to Make it About You: Every marriage should be built on the premise of making it about your spouse first. There are times, however, when an individual’s needs must be met before they can be capable of helping others. If you are really upset about something, do not just bury it under manly silence. Tell her about it and ask for her help. Every good wife will be more than glad to listen and care about her husband. You are not less of a man if you need help with a problem every once in a while. Indeed, I would say that most wives appreciate it a great deal when their husbands really open up to them about their trouble. This is the definition of a give-and-take partnership, which is what marriage is all about.And every good husband must not lose sight of this fundamental truth.

Tell her how you feel, but do not put her in a defensive position. Describe to her how something she does affects you without making your feelings accusatory. When you talk about issues in your marriage, tell her about how it affects you instead of what it is about her that bothers you. Good communication is one of the keys to a healthy marriage; good communication requires you to tell her how you are affected.

If your wife does something that hurts you, tell her exactly that you are hurt. Do not focus on her actions, but on the consequences of those actions. If you simply accuse her of undermining you or being insensitive, it automatically puts her on the defensive. When she is defensive about her actions, good communication becomes impossible.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART TWO)



3. Be Her Sounding Board: To be a good husband you must be the sound board of your wife. Women love men who will be there as their sound boards. Women like talking, even if you do not appreciate that, just give them the opportunity to talk on and pour out her heart. When tells you about her problems realize that she is not looking for a problem solver. All she need is a caring heart, a listening ear and an empathetic partner show can feel what she is going through and offer some words of encouragement.

Most time when we hear of our wife’s problem, we tend to come to their rescue instinctively, but in most cases what the woman needs is a psychological husband rather than a troubleshooting husband. All you need to do is listen to her problems; show concern for those problems; show that you have empathy; but do not always reply with ‘here’s what you need to do.’ Never be a lawyer when your wife comes to you with a problem. And she certainly does not need you to be her coach, giving her fiery motivational speeches about how to beat her problem. She wants a counselor who cares to listen to her problems and help her deal with their emotional impact.

Listen to what your wife has to say. A good husband listens to his wife. Sometimes she needs to talk to someone and that does not necessarily mean she needs you to fix it. Sometimes instead of having a problem fixed, women just want someone to listen to them so they can talk it out and work it out in their own minds and hearts. She might ask for suggestions or thoughts, but sometimes what she really wants is just a sounding board. This is where many men mess things up. They cannot bear a woman talking their heart out; most especially when it has to do with areas their husband have shown some level of disapproval.

Well if you want to have a peaceful home and be a good husband by making your wife happy, you have be determine to refrain from any form of verbal abuse and scolding of any sort. And make your self available as a sound board and allow her to pour out her heart. Feel the emotion with her and comfort her even as she goes through that moment of hurt.

4. Always Show Respect to your wife: To be a good husband you must learn to show respect to your wife both privately and publicly. A major part of showing respect is to avoid the trap of being hyper-critical. Do not criticize the way your wife dresses, cook meals, parks the car. You might think you are instructing your wife, but you are actually showing disrespect for the decisions you make. Do not also correct her in the presence of friends and family members. This will greatly affect her self esteem and also make her loose confidence in your ability to protect her. Watching the dirty linen of your wife in the public does not make look like a real man, but it only helps to foster the destructive effort of your idiotic behavior. It portrays you as a bad man.

Never kick against her decision and order once it was passed before you came. Honor it and allow those it affects to know that you are standing on your wife’s decision. Actions are just as important as words. Do not make decisions that normally a married couple should collectively. This shows you have no respect for her opinion. Doing this does not make you less important, but rather it makes you a good husband.

Put your marriage first. Whether you are religious or not, some things are just sacred. Marriage is very near the top of the list of sacred things. Society is built on successful families and successful families are built on a bedrock foundation of trust, love and fidelity. If every man in the world would treat his marriage like it was the most important thing in the world, above his career, friends, and hobbies, then so much of society’s problems would be solved. A good husbands values his wife above all others.

Try to avoid certain intonations with your wife, the kind that can be described as “talking down on her”. A woman can pick up on these as well or better than a man can. These tell her you have contempt for whatever is she is doing, and that you are treating her like a child or even your pet. Disrespect is one of the surest ways to poison a marriage and creates problems that will frustrate and destroy the love in your marriage relationship.
 
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THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND (PART ONE)

Knowing how to develop the attitude of a good husband is fundamental to the growth and success of every marriage relationship. Knowing how to be a good husband takes effort, but the rewards are enormous! When you are uncertain or frustrated in your marriage, ask,”What would a Good Husband do?” This question will help you keep your direction and commitment.. I am committed in this article to offer some useful suggestions on how to be a good husband:

  1. Remember your wedding vows always: The best place to start the process of developing the attitude of a good husband is to evaluate your wedding vows and remember your vow of commitment on that faithful day when you said I do. Whether you said it deliberately or out of compulsion, it does not matter. The fact that you made that solemn vow in the presence of God and before many witnesses, you have to live by its tenets. Look at your wedding vows. Use those as the touchstone by which you judge your performance as a husband. On the day of your wedding you took an oat to love your wife, comfort her, forsake all other women and remain true to her as long as both of you shall live. You also told her, “with this ring I did wed, and with all my worldly goods I did endowed. In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, till death us do part”.
    2.    Love your wife: The first words in those vows are crucial. When the priest asked, ‘Will you love her?’ you said, ‘yes, I do’. Even if you have a reason to hate her, just love her. That is what you promise to do. If you do not love her who else do you want to love her? I have heard many men tell me, ‘do not seem to have good feelings for her anymore, we have fallen out of love’. That may be a reality, but there is one thing I want you to realize; love is an action word. When you begin to love your wife and do those little love actions you will begin to have those romantic feelings for her again. Love is about giving, not about taking. What you do for her is what gives you the satisfaction of loving. In my years of marriage and relationship consulting, I have seen many men who do not know what to do to show that they love somebody. Well, in case you want to know, the following romantic ideas will help:

  • Encourage her.
  • Put her needs ahead of your own.
  • Listen to her.
  • Forgive her for her faults and mistakes.
  • Give to her without thinking about what you are getting in return.
  • Take her out for a good treat.
  • Kiss her
  • Adore her always
  • Lavish her with sincere compliments
  • Write her a love poem
  • Care for her like no one has ever done.
The bible said, ‘husband love your wife and Christ loved the church and gave his life for her. For this reason a man shall live his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and both of them shall become one flesh.’

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This session is loaded with creative ideas to make you a good husband to your wife. If you want to make your wife happy, stay with me in this session and you will surely have all it takes to develop the required attitude to be a good husband.

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THE MAKING OF A GOOD HUSBAND



Developing a good husband attitude that make your wife happy all day!

The heart desire of every woman is to get married to a good husband who will not only own up to his responsibilities as a real man but also as a good father. The making of the home is a dual responsibility, but being a good husband is one of the greatest ways of strengthening family love. No matter your position in life, your wife will be greatly impressed and your children proud to have a good husband in the house to lead the home into the bliss of family love. You can be the president of the whole world, it does not matter. You can exercise all the powers that are inherent in that office while you are out there with handling the challenges of world leadership. But when you come home, your wife will be very happy to meet a good husband and not the president of the whole world. You must make her very happy and proud of her self that she has not gotten married to the wrong person, also that her life will not be mortgaged in the darkness of frustrating married life.  

Learn from the wisdom of the president of United States of America, President Obama. Though a president, his wife still expect him to live up to his responsibilities as a good husband and a good father.

"My wife has been my closest friend, my closest adviser….When I go home; she wants me to be a good father and a good husband. And everything else is secondary to that." Barack Obama.

Being a good husband requires knowledge of the fundamentals of successful relationships, and that is what you are going to learn as you proceed. 

If this article has been helpful, please kindly email it to a friend, and or post a comment below. You can also print this article for your personal use.

Wishing you the best in your marriage!



Saturday, January 8, 2011

THE ELEMENTS OF FALLING IN LOVE



Why people fall in love!


Falling in love is produced by energy far above reason. It appeals more to emotions. Some times the heart does things that reason cannot comprehend. And anyone who understands the art of appealing to the heart can make anyone fall in love easily. Those who are successful in family love and sustainable relationship are those who have consciously or unconsciously engaged the elements of falling in love.

Romantic love is enigmatic. It is hard to capture and convert into computerized, controlled bits and bytes of information. Many scholars have given their time and effort to research in order to find the basics behind the art of falling in love. Their findings have made tremendous contribution to the improvement of family love.

Drawing inspiration from the works of great scholars in the fields of successful relationships, interpersonal relations, psychology, sociology, family love and from personal observation, I discovered six varieties of what makes people fall in love. These varieties are what I called, "The elements of falling in love". Anyone who wants to successfully make anyone fall in love with him or her must as a necessity learn how to be a skillful master of these six fundamental elements of falling in love. Now get ready as we explore each in detail:

First Impression: Endeavor to make a good first impression the first time you set your eyes on the one you want to make fall in love with you. You never get a second chance at love at first sight. The first moment you catch a glimpse of your object of love is a fundamental moment of romantic decision. Great scientist has observed that the seed of love are often sown during first few minutes of a relationship. The way you present yourself before your object of love will make a lasting impression on her mind. If your presentation is poor, unromantic and unattractive, be sure to get a no answer.

The moment you set your eyes on the one you want to make fall in love with you, your potential lover subconsciously reads the subtleties of your body language. At this first moment of personal contact he or she may resolve to embark on a romantic journey of love or abort the thought of romantic love with you. It all depends on how your first impression blends your romantic chemistry.




A man and a woman getting to know each other are like two little animals sniffing each other out. We do not have tails that wag or hair that brittles, but we do have eyes that narrow or widen. We have hands that flash knuckles or subconsciously soften in the palms-up “I submit” position. 




There are dozens of other “involuntary” reactions that take place in the first few moments of interaction. The good news is that we can learn to control these presumed involuntary reactions.

Complementary Needs: This is the test for character similarity. After passing the first impression element, the next elements of falling in love is complementary needs. At this stage your object of love begins to access you more carefully to find out if you have qualities that compliment his or her needs. Do not forget that people do things because it satisfies their interest. 

If there must be compatibility for a life time of family love or even for a date, there must definitely be some level of complementary similarities. 


The heart of men and women are finely tuned instruments that seek someone with a similar and complementary values, beliefs and perspectives.


Similarity makes men and women feel terrific because it confirms the choices they have spent years making. People who enjoy the same activities can actually have fun together, than those with differing interests. Similarity is basically a launch pad on which family love emanate.

However, as good as this may be, too much of it becomes a burden. Men and women cannot have a successful family love experience without having a partner to make up for areas of their weakness. Therefore, complementary qualities are sort for by intelligent women and smart men before they commit to a romantic love.And if you desire peace and harmony in your family love endeavors, you should take seriously the issue of complimentary needs.

Do not just settle for any complementary qualities, but seek that which you find interesting and also that which will enhance your life in a more productive manner. Seek someone who is both similar and complementary.

Equity: This is the place of relevance in the art of making anyone fall in love with you. Everybody has a price tag and or a market value. This comes in a variety of packages. Some is beauty, others is money, and still others prestige, intelligence, power and influence. Your potential lover wants to know what you can do for her. He or she wants to know how falling in love with you will help to improve his or her life.

So many people believe that love is blind, but I have a contrary view to this. If you enter into love blindly, you will be greatly disappointed when the stack reality of life opens up the underlying truth. Everybody – even the richest and best people has touched a crash when it comes to choosing a long term partner. Before you commit, you must ask your self what is in it for me. Even if you ignore this basic truth, your potential lover may not be foolish enough to think the same.

Some of you may think that I am being selfish. Well, you may be right! But do not blame me, experience have taught me to be a little selfish when it comes to dealing with people. Why? Of course I will tell you. Everybody you see today is selfish in one way or the other to some degree. They are in the game because of what they stand to gain; take this away from them, and you will be amazed at how and where they will dump you in the pit of frustration. You do not know the degree of selfishness in the life of the one you are dealing with you, so why will you place yourself in a position to be exploited and dumped?

Do not allow love drive you to the point where your senses do not have the serenity to function properly. True love is pure and compassionate, involving caring, communion, and selflessness. That is what love is when people are truly in love. This kind of selfless love only comes after you have made your potential love to genuinely fall in love with you. But until then, you must allow the “what is in it” principle to guide your response.

If you want to make anyone fall in love with you, you must do your best to convince them that they are getting a good deal by falling in love with you. Lovers unconsciously and consciously calculate the other person’s comparable worth, cost-benefit ratio of relationship, the maintenance cost, the hidden cost and the cost of the assumed depreciation. Everybody has a big score card hidden in their heart, and if you want to make anyone fall in love with you, you have to do a good deal of work to convince them that they are being offered an opportunity of a life time to add more relevance to their lives. If you do a good job of convincing by putting your best foot forward, you will be able to make anyone quickly fall in love with you.

Ego: If you want to make anyone fall in love with you level your ammunition and fire right their ego. People fall in love with people in whose eyes they behold the most ideal reflection of themselves. Ego makes the world go round and if you can make your potential lover feel more beautiful, handsome, and charming, string to make the object of your love feel very important. This electrifies their emotion and makes them fall in love with you as if you casted a love spells on them.

The deepest need of every individual is the craving for appreciation. Everyone hunger for security and validation. Anyone who can honestly provide this has the whole world with him, and anyone who cannot shall be avoided like a plaque. If you want to make anyone fall in love with you, you must explore ways to make the object of your love realize and believe you are the salvation from the storms of life.

Knowledge of gender differences: There are grate differences between women and men. Women are exasperating, agitating, calculating, infuriating and maddening while men seem to be insensitive. Women are looking for love, but men for lust. Therefore, to make anyone fall in love with you, you must know and or be vast in the knowledge of gender differences.

Brain Excitation: You have to work on your potential sexuality. Appeal to sensual instinct. Make them feel very hungry; evoke their sexual drive. Sexuality is an electronic fire that can be awakened by giving momentum to mind power. Suck out the dream of sexual energy, longings, and the fantasies of your potential lover, and create a life long erotic aura that he or she luxuriates in. you must master how to evoke and manipulate the worst powerful erogenous zone (the brain) of your potential lover. This is a fundamental key to make him or her fall in love with you. This techniques give your potential lover ultimate sexual euphoria making him or her fall in love with you.


Conclusion: If you want to make anyone fall in love with you, you must as a matter of necessity understand the impact of first impression, the influence of similarity, the skewed reckoning of equity, the sarcasm of ego, the magnitude of gender differences and the ecstasy enrapture of sex. 

Lovers unconsciously and consciously calculate the other person’s comparable worth, cost-benefit ratio of relationship, the maintenance cost, the hidden cost and the cost of the assumed depreciation. 

Everybody has a big score card hidden in their heart, and if you want to make anyone fall in love with you, you have to do a good deal of work to convince them that they are being offered an opportunity of a life time to add more relevance to their lives. If you do a good job of convincing by putting your best foot forward, you will be able to make anyone quickly fall in love with you.

Take your time to practice the above elements of falling in love, and you will be able to make anyone fall in love with you. If you have any contribution on this topic feel free to share it with us and our valued visitors.

Have a wonderful love life!

SAFE SEX



SAFE SEX


Strategies for Safe Sex


The importance of safe sex strategies in family love matters cannot be ignored in effective marriage relationship. Too many men find it very difficult to abstain from sex. Even when they are married, they still have the cravings for extra marital sex, thereby creating a possibility of infecting their wives with sexually transmitted diseases contacted as a result of their marital unfaithfulness.  Ignoring the counsel of safe sex makes you and your partner exposed to attack.

Safe sex practices are also very effective for couples who want to stop making them-selves baby production factories. They desire some measures of family planning to ensure that babies are brought into the world when needed. They want to enjoy real intimacy without fear of bringing another child burden upon them. To such couples strategies for safe sex becomes very imperative.

To save you from future predicament, here are some basic strategies for safe sex:

Employ proper use of condom: Men and women should learn to use condoms properly. I know most men prefer body to body contact all the time, but if your man does not take pleasure in employing safe sex practices, as a woman, keep him on check. You cannot live your safety literally in the hands of a careless man. You must practice how to wear condom on a man if he is feeling reluctant or does not know how.

The under listed safety tips may be of great help to couples who take their sexual health seriously. Follow these tips when using a condom:

·        Do not use condom that is sticky or powdery when you open it.
·        Take care to squeeze the air out of the tip of the condom before use.
·        Do not use your finger nails when rolling the condom down the penis.
·        Only use water based lubrication- other tube like based Vaseline petroleum jelly and other massage oils will damage the latex, making it unsafe.
·        Check the expiry date of the condom.
·        Do not tear the condom open with your teeth; it contains some chemicals unhealthy for consumption.
·        After sex, hold the condom at the base of the penis and pull out.
·        Penetrate with care- do not be a rough rider when you wear condom.

Apply common Sense: Though common sense is not common, every couple should not be deficient in it if they truly desire to have a happy married life.

·        Trust your gut.
·        If you feel pressured reframe from it.
·        Condoms will not prevent you from genital waltz.
·        Do not have sex with people when you are not in the right frame of mind.
·        If you are not comfortable discussing protection, HIV prevention and birth control, you really should not feel comfortable enough to have sex.
·        Do not screw him if he does not wear a condom.
·        Do not be an idiot, be safe and be happy.

Have alternative to penetrative sex: Instead of sex, employ the safe sex strategies of kissing, petting, caressing and hugging. As a lady or a woman this will go a long way to reduce dramatically your chances of contacting diseases, it will increase your chances of having orgasm.

The practice of safe sex is fundamental if you must enjoy marital bliss. Those who take these important counsels for granted are paying with pain, frustration and humiliation to prove the falsity of their opinion. Why must you give your partner problems that can lead to his or her death when you can actually make her or him happy all the days that both of you will live on earth? Let your spouse be happy to live with you in true pleasurable marital experience. Practice safe sex and enjoy marital happiness and fulfillment.

To the success of your marriage!